My Recent Reads

Hello all,

It’s been a while since I wrote about books I’ve read so I thought I would share with you what I’ve been into this August and September.

 

     1. Elements of Etiquette by Craig Claiborne

This concise book on etiquette was written by famed restaurant critic, Craig Claiborne. What I liked about this book versus others that I have read is that it is relevant to today’s modern social situations. While it can be interesting to read about more obsolete social expectations from long ago, this practical and contemporary approach will give you the information you need to make the best decisions in today’s world.

     2. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Don’t read this book with makeup on! It’s rare for a book to make me cry, but this one definitely did. Written by the late Randy Pausch, it encapsulates a lifetime of wisdom and lessons in a humorous tone despite the author’s knowledge that he will soon die due to cancer. This book is not emotional because of the author’s impending death — he has had way too much fun in his life to allow that too happen — but because of his acceptance and resiliency in spite of that. It’s a tear-jerker that teaches us to never forget our childish innocence and do whatever it takes to  live out our own fun and beautiful life.

3. Paris in Love by Eloisa James

If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to live in Paris then all you have to do is read this book! This beautiful memoir captures the author’s Paris experience in a way that is both dream-like yet accurate. After living in France for two years myself, I can certainly say that I left my heart there and this novel brings back all of my own memories. It’s amazing how this book is so personal to the author and yet I find myself remembering my own experiences in her words.

4. What Islam Did For Us by Tim Wallace-Murphy

This book was not what I expected it to be. I was expecting to learn more about the inventions and discoveries in the field of medicine, mathematics and astronomy by Muslim scientists that I’ve heard so much about, but instead this book focuses heavily on the historical ties between Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. This is not necessarily a negative point, but based on the title it definitely wasn’t the subject matter I was expecting to read about. This is a great book for those who want to understand how each of the three religions have affected each other since ancient times until now.

That’s what I’ve read so far in the last two months. I’m open to recommendations for new books to read so feel free to comment. Watch my video to see what I’m currently reading and what I’m planning on reading soon!

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3 Ways Elegant Women Remain Collected

We all want to feel more in control when things go awry. I’ve never met anyone who enjoyed feeling nervous and helpless and I’ve also met some women who seem to defy all characteristics of normal human reactions when it hits the fan. It made me wonder what this quality was and if I could learn it too. After some study of their behavior, I realized that this quality was “elegance”.

Now, elegance is not snobbery and high tea with lace fans and finger sandwiches.

Elegance is a state of mind and therefore anyone can be elegant — strands of pearls and diamond rings are not compulsory. What elegant women share in common is their mind. They are focused, clear, and decisive in their thoughts which leaves very little room for them to feel “off”, worried or hysterical. After much study, I’ve reduced their behavior down to these three ways to that use to stay calm, cool and collected.

1. They know their priorities

If you ask most women what is important in their lives, you’ll be inundated with an avalanche of things which is no wonder most women feel like their running on steam much of time.

Elegant women are not super-human. They have the same amount of time and energy as anyone else, but they know where to focus it and not give it away to unimportant people and things.

To feel in control, you need to be able to constantly decide what is truly, deeply important to you and be at peace with your decisions. There is this phenomenon called “FOMO” today. That stands for the “fear of missing out” and that has no place in an elegant woman’s life. If you find yourself at the mercy of FOMO and afraid to cut off things and people, just remember that if everything is important to you, then nothing really is.

2. They abhor drama

In a world where vulgar, outrageous personalities are gossiped about, emulated and celebrated, elegant women take a step away from these people and prefer to acquaint themselves with those who uplift and inspire others to our highest ideals. Choose the high road all the time and soon you’ll find yourself among others who have done the same.

There’s also the drama that women create within themselves by giving away their feelings self-worth to other people. How many women do you know always think about what someone else is thinking about them and base their decisions on what someone else thinks? These women torture themselves which shows up as social anxiety by trying to know the unknowable — and frankly, the not worth knowing. Elegant women are truly confident in themselves, not confident in what others think of them. There’s a distinction there that makes all the difference.

Lastly, an elegant woman does not create negative thoughts in less than ideal situations. She understands that things will happen that are beyond her control and all she can do is remain level-headed and make the best decision with the knowledge she has. These last couple of weeks have not been the best: my husband got in a car accident (thankfully he’s fine even though the car is totaled!), my car has some sort of electrical issue that even the car shop can’t figure out so that car can’t be driven until they bring in an electrician, my husband’s job interview did not go as he wanted and they chose another candidate, and due to all of the car issues there are going to be some hefty, unexpected bills coming our way soon. With all of these events, it is very tempting to succumb to the stress and anxiety and begin to weave negative thoughts into my days, but an elegant women sees the facts for what they are.

Have these last two weeks been an anomaly? Yes.

Does that mean my life is falling apart and that nothing good will ever happen to me ever again? No.

Can I handle this with grace and not let it affect my overall happiness? Yes.

Life happens and there’s nothing that can stop that. Sometimes what seems like a bad thing can actually end up being good for you. It was time for a car upgrade anyway.

3. They are disciplined and intentional

Like I mentioned before, elegance is a state of mind and the mind is an incredible thing. It takes a lot of discipline to control your thoughts and actions, most people just let the first feeling that comes into their brain decide their actions. An elegant woman knows that life is just a series of decisions between what is right and what is easy.

On the same line, if something is important then you have to truly intend to do it. An elegant women does this by putting it down in a calendar. This can come in many different varieties and can be electronic or old-fashioned pen to paper (my preference). For example, if you decide that writing that novel is truly important to you (this is key) then you will write in your calendar the steps required to accomplish that:

  1. Write the novel
  2. Research the best publisher for you
  3. Find an illustrator

All that’s left to do is to tap into your discipline to believe in yourself and do those steps.

Of course, elegant women have their days when they feel stressed out, get angry, make some drama and commit themselves to something that they don’t truly feel is important to them. No one is perfect. But they don’t stay in that space for long, certainly not long enough to ever make a real impact on their lives, but if you are ever feeling that like, just remember these 3 methods and get back to being and living your fabulous elegant self.

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